Frank Ocean (born Christopher Breaux) is an American singer-songwriter and rapper, born in 1987. In July 2012, Ocean wrote an open letter, addressing the speculation about his sexuality. In this letter, he discussed the unrequited feelings he had for another man when he was 19 years old, citing this as his first true love. This letter was intended to be used for the liner notes on his album, Channel Orange, but he decided to instead, publish it on his Tumblr blog. After publishing this letter, Ocean became one of the first major African-American artists to announce that he had once fallen in love with someone of the same sex. The album, Channel Orange was heavily based on this notion of “dabbling” with homosexuality and unrequited love.
Taxi driver
Be my shrink for the hour
Leave the meter running
Its rush hour
So take the streets if you wanna
Just outrun the demons, could you
The first verse of Bad Religion, is set in a taxi, where Frank Ocean is conversing with an Arabic-speaking driver. Ocean starts the song with him in his emotional state. He is desperate to find someone to talk to and unleash the emotions that have burdened him for so long. By asking the taxi driver to be his “shrink for the hour”, he is asking this stranger who knows nothing about the situation to bring perspective to the issue. By asking the driver to “just outrun the demons,” Ocean is referring to the demons of his own conscience. He feels as though he is always running away from the truth about his true sexuality. No matter how hard he tries to outrun these so-called demons by himself, he cannot seem to make them go away. His feelings for this man he fell in love with cannot be outrun.
This theme of outrunning demons or “growing out of it” has been very common throughout LGBT texts that have been studied in this Introduction to LGBT Studies class. For example, in the book Maurice, the main character (named Maurice), wondered when he would “grow out” of his homosexuality, especially after his lover “turned straight”. When Maurice goes to see a highly-respected “man of God” in his community, his sexuality is quickly dismissed as a phase that he will outgrow when he is more mature and ready to get married and become closer to God.
Although this book is set in the early 20th century, this belief of outgrowing homosexuality is still prevalent in society today. Seemingly, it is one that is often adopted by certain members and groups (for this piece, I will be primarily focusing on religious groups), who do not believe in, or are uncomfortable with homosexuality being a part of human nature. Consequently, these groups will dismiss homosexuality as a phase of rebellion that one will outgrow, or in extreme cases, feel the need to “ungay” the individual.
He said "Allahu akbar"
I told him, "Don't curse me"
"Bo Bo, you need prayer"
I guess it couldn't hurt me
If it brings me to my knees
It's a bad religion
This unrequited love
To me it's nothing but a one-man cult
And cyanide in my styrofoam cup
I can never make him love me
Never make him love me
Love me
Love me
Love me
Love me
Love me
Love me
Love
The hook of this song is filled with emotional messages - a continuation of Ocean’s inner turmoil. After asking the driver to outrun the demons, the driver replies with “Allahu Akbar,” which is Arabic for “God is Greater”. Ocean feels that he is a man of sin and the taxi driver responds to his cry for help by instructing him that although his demons seem large, God is will always defeat evil, and that Ocean should seek refuge in Him to resolve his problems. Ocean is disheartened by this somewhat expected response. In the following lines of the verse, Ocean critiques religion as a whole. He makes an interesting Jim Jones reference, in saying “And cyanide in my styrofoam cup.” Jim Jones was the leader of the People’s Temple cult, who killed a mass of his followers by forcing them to drink Kool-Aid infused with cyanide. In this line, Ocean critiques his relationship with religion and God. His unrequited love for religion seems as self-destructive as joining a suicide cult, and he can see the emotional and psychological damage it is having on him. He can taste the cyanide in his own cup. The tormenting fact of this whole scenario is that he is expected to trust God to deliver him from the evil, yet by being delivered from those “evils,” Ocean loses his worldly happiness.
Most major religions (Christianity being the focus of this piece) traditionally forbid homosexuality in text and in belief. It is true that in the western world, there is better access to more liberal religious groups who have become more accepting of homosexuality. Traditionally, homosexuality has been viewed by religious conservatives as an abomination of morality, and a sin that is hated by God or Allah. According to this logic, one would need to repent from their ways and ask God for forgiveness.
Like many other people who do not fit within the heteronormative bracket, Ocean is torn between his faith in a higher power, and a praising a deity who will not recognize his devotion because he is in love with another man. The line, “if it brings me to my knees, it's a bad religion,” is served as a double entendre in this song. One meaning implies that if he has to get on his knees and beg for forgiveness for being who he is, it is a bad religion - it is refusing to accept him for being himself. The second meaning refers to the act of performing oral sex. Ocean is saying that if he is getting on his knees to perform oral sex for another man, it is bad religion - he is not being righteous in the face of religion. He is a sinner. In this verse, Ocean also speaks about unrequited love being like a one man cult. His thoughts about religion have driven him to the conclusion that this relationship with God is rather unrequited, much like the man he fell in love with - his first love. This again brings up a familiar topic in the LGBT society. It seems as though this higher deity, God, does not return the love that Ocean shares for him. At this point, as with many LGBT persons, Ocean feels as though he must make a decision whether to denounce religion or denounce God. Ocean realizes, by the end of this verse that he can never make a God who frowns down upon homosexuality love him.
It's a bad religion
To be in love with someone
Who could never love you
I know
Only bad religion
Could have me feeling the way I do
In the outro of the song, Ocean reinforces his inability to change his sexuality. He points out that he does not want to let go of his religion, he cannot continue to love something that does not accept who he is as a person. This verse plays on the notion that the religion requires you to fit into the mold, in order for you to be accepted, despite “unconditional love” being a value that is commonly reinforced in many religions. As this is the final verse, Ocean concludes that he cannot continue to abide by religion and hide his homosexuality. He has to break off his relationship with this “bad religion”.
This whole piece, and in fact, the entire album is very interesting when examining the way it speaks about Ocean’s sexuality and turmoil with his sexuality. Although religion is the focus of this paper, the song explores other aspects of homosexuality, such as fears of coming out of “the closet”. Why I chose to write about religion was simply that it is something that fascinates and torments me. Ocean’s experiences with religion are congruent with those that are expressed in many of the works by LGBT members. The fact that throughout the entire piece, he fights whether he should denounce his sexuality or his religion is particularly fascinating. At the end of the song, it appears that Ocean has found an answer to his turmoil, but by actually listening to the song, it is apparent that there is still a large amount of uncertainty in his decision. I believe that the uncertainty comes from the following scenario: in the same way that his first same-sex love is unreciprocated, a follower of God never truly knows if their love for Him is reciprocated because God is unseen to the physical eye. Therefore, Ocean’s uncertainty comes from having to basically choose the vice for his demise - a life full of happy sin, or one of unfulfilling righteousness.